Today, I just wanted to take a breath and give thanks to my almighty Father. Words cannot express the gratefulness I have and feel in him. In His word he has given us many promises and many of them I am beginning to take hold of again. This blog was started from a journey beginning with my 14 year old daughter pushing me to reach out to others and to help them. She felt that my testimony and life would be one that would encourage and help others; giving them hope. I was hesitant because I was afraid of what others would think and the scripture came to mind, "who am I trying to please, men or God." I took a leap and began training to help others at the Blue Ridge Pregnancy Center, helping others through and during their crisis situations.
This has been a blessing to me. During this time I have been taking the Beth Moore study, Breaking Free and a Post Abortion study; Forgiven and Set Free. Needless to say god has shown up and I have been given a freedom that I never expected. I am experiencing a joy that I did not know was possible. The words of Ephesians 4:20 resonate with me every day now, and God is doing a good thing.
In Matthew 25, Jesus tells a parable of the talent and of his servants. He chastises the one who has not done anything with the talent he gave. I have been that servant who has been disobedient. Not anymore. What God has done for me is priceless and I do not have enough years to serve Him and for Him to receive the glory!
My fellow believers, "He who has begun a good work in us will complete it!
Be encourage!
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Abortion by Lisa Brock
For some women, discovering they are expecting a child is one of the happiest moments of their lives. For others — especially those who aren't married and aren't ready to become parents — it seems like the beginning of a nightmare. If you are pregnant with a child you didn't plan to have, how do you make decisions about what is best for you and your unborn baby?
Research. Pregnancy directly affects your life and the life of your newly conceived child. Though you can easily see and feel the changes in your body, your child's development is more of a mystery. Even as he grows inside your body, your baby is a tiny person with feelings, behaviors and a personality. He can hear, taste, smell, hiccup and even suck his thumb. Find out from a doctor what he 's really like before you make decisions about his life.
Get some wise advice. Often caring parents and friends are good resources. Sometimes it's easier to talk with your pastor or someone at a pregnancy resource center. Whomever you decide to speak with, make sure it's someone who will help you consider all the moral and emotional aspects of the road you will choose. The hormones and extreme emotions of pregnancy make reasonable decisions more difficult. Don 't make your choice without the advice of someone you can trust to lead you down the best possible path.
Consider your own life. Spending nine months pregnant with a child you don't think you are prepared to parent can be difficult, but taking your unborn child 's life is a decision you can never reverse. Should you choose to terminate your pregnancy, you will likely suffer from guilt, remorse and grief, possibly for many years to come. In addition, abortion can cause medical complications that may make it impossible for you to become pregnant when you think you are ready to be a parent. You may be making a decision affecting not only this child, but also your future children.
Consider the life of your child. Expected or unexpected, every child deserves to be loved. Just like you, your unborn baby deserves a chance at a happy life. As you make a decision about what to do next, listen to your heart, like your baby does; he hears it beating all the time
Research. Pregnancy directly affects your life and the life of your newly conceived child. Though you can easily see and feel the changes in your body, your child's development is more of a mystery. Even as he grows inside your body, your baby is a tiny person with feelings, behaviors and a personality. He can hear, taste, smell, hiccup and even suck his thumb. Find out from a doctor what he 's really like before you make decisions about his life.
Get some wise advice. Often caring parents and friends are good resources. Sometimes it's easier to talk with your pastor or someone at a pregnancy resource center. Whomever you decide to speak with, make sure it's someone who will help you consider all the moral and emotional aspects of the road you will choose. The hormones and extreme emotions of pregnancy make reasonable decisions more difficult. Don 't make your choice without the advice of someone you can trust to lead you down the best possible path.
Consider your own life. Spending nine months pregnant with a child you don't think you are prepared to parent can be difficult, but taking your unborn child 's life is a decision you can never reverse. Should you choose to terminate your pregnancy, you will likely suffer from guilt, remorse and grief, possibly for many years to come. In addition, abortion can cause medical complications that may make it impossible for you to become pregnant when you think you are ready to be a parent. You may be making a decision affecting not only this child, but also your future children.
Consider the life of your child. Expected or unexpected, every child deserves to be loved. Just like you, your unborn baby deserves a chance at a happy life. As you make a decision about what to do next, listen to your heart, like your baby does; he hears it beating all the time
Taking a Walk Through the Past 2.....We need to know where we came from in order to appreciate where we are!
Waking up in that hospital, I began the lies that this had not happened. My family members that picked me believed that I had another operation done. I went to their home and pretended that nothing happened. A few eeks later my cousin gave birth to a baby boy and I fell in love with him. not only did I fall in love but I also fell in despair, the reality of what I had done took me spirally into a pit of despair that I found almost impossible to get out.
For months I tried to pretend that all was well but the force of my actions pummeled me daily. I got to the point that I would not speak and this lasted for months. When I did begin to speak it was as if I was a machine, some type of robot that was just moving through this world with no where to go. There was a constant haze. This is when I went to my parents ans ask if I could come back home. My father said no; He had not asked me to leave before so I needed to accept my choices. That night I called my priest and at the same time took pills from the cupboard and tried to kill myself, for what would be the first of many attempts. I was found by his nephew and was taken to the hospital. Again after this I fell into a depression that was immense and I could not shake. I was in counselling for along time but it only helped so much. Even as I try to tell you about this time it is not all clear.
I do remember leaving my job. I also left that town for a small amount of time. Upon returning I got another job at the Telecommunications company. I seemed to be doing well and had an apartment that I shared with roommates. Unfortunately, someone who knew me told WB, the father of my aborted baby that I was back in town. He tracked me down and took advantage of me. I was pregnant again; and found myself right back at the beginning of my nightmare. I walked into the hospital, not thinking, not feeling and maybe not even breathing. If I thought about it too much or too long, who knows what would have happened. We know what happened. I committed another murder. I pushed this one and everything else so far down and in the back of my mind. I tried to live as if nothing had ever happened.
Of course this was not possible as, truth will always surface. I lived my life but it was not one of joy. I was just going through the motions. I would bury myself in work and then come home, read books and sleep or would go out with my cousin and party. I did not want anything to do with the opposite sex. I began to read my bible a little but very little. A few years later, I met my husband to be, while trying to purchase some brakes for my car.
For months I tried to pretend that all was well but the force of my actions pummeled me daily. I got to the point that I would not speak and this lasted for months. When I did begin to speak it was as if I was a machine, some type of robot that was just moving through this world with no where to go. There was a constant haze. This is when I went to my parents ans ask if I could come back home. My father said no; He had not asked me to leave before so I needed to accept my choices. That night I called my priest and at the same time took pills from the cupboard and tried to kill myself, for what would be the first of many attempts. I was found by his nephew and was taken to the hospital. Again after this I fell into a depression that was immense and I could not shake. I was in counselling for along time but it only helped so much. Even as I try to tell you about this time it is not all clear.
I do remember leaving my job. I also left that town for a small amount of time. Upon returning I got another job at the Telecommunications company. I seemed to be doing well and had an apartment that I shared with roommates. Unfortunately, someone who knew me told WB, the father of my aborted baby that I was back in town. He tracked me down and took advantage of me. I was pregnant again; and found myself right back at the beginning of my nightmare. I walked into the hospital, not thinking, not feeling and maybe not even breathing. If I thought about it too much or too long, who knows what would have happened. We know what happened. I committed another murder. I pushed this one and everything else so far down and in the back of my mind. I tried to live as if nothing had ever happened.
Of course this was not possible as, truth will always surface. I lived my life but it was not one of joy. I was just going through the motions. I would bury myself in work and then come home, read books and sleep or would go out with my cousin and party. I did not want anything to do with the opposite sex. I began to read my bible a little but very little. A few years later, I met my husband to be, while trying to purchase some brakes for my car.
Friday, April 30, 2010
A Look at the Present
Today as I sit in front of my computer, I am amazed at God's grace and blessing. We just finished the Post Abortion Bible study and it has been miraculous in my life. I know the other ladies have experienced the same thing as I have. Wednesday night we had the opportunity to film an edition of the TV show "Sound the Alarm" a few us got together and told others about our stories and how God has helped us in out journey to freedom. Our prayer is that we can reach others in their walks and struggles to see that god's grace is available to them too.
In my own home, we have been having struggles and one of the things that has resonated with me, has been forgiveness. To forgive others as Jesus has forgiven me. Please join us on Monday the 3rd and the 10th, Comcast 7 at 8.30pm and watch the program and invite others to view it also. We pray it be a blessing to all that view it.
Thank you and God Bless!
In my own home, we have been having struggles and one of the things that has resonated with me, has been forgiveness. To forgive others as Jesus has forgiven me. Please join us on Monday the 3rd and the 10th, Comcast 7 at 8.30pm and watch the program and invite others to view it also. We pray it be a blessing to all that view it.
Thank you and God Bless!
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Taking a Walk Through the Past.....We need to know where we came from in order to appreciate where we are!
Jesus says to the woman as he did to me, "Thy sins are forgiven." First of all we all need to be forgiven are sins, but their were others in the room who knew this woman and they said her sins were many.
She did not arrive at this place accidentally or rapidly. I begin to look back at my own life and knew for certain it was not a quick descent.I grew up in a two parent home, both hard working parents. Went to good a private school, was very involved athletically and had a good rapport with my teachers and fellow classmates. We attended church regularly and I was involved in my churches youth group, very involved. I went to an Anglican church and was also involved with the choir and most of my activities center around the church.
At around 15years old,a group came to our church called the Cursillo movement and spoke about having a relationship with this man called Jesus. I remember surrendering myself to his calling in my life and vowed to follow him wherever he may lead me. There were many of us and so we began having Bible study together and we grew strong together. As time wore on, many of us grew apart and started college and marriage and work and we did not put in as much time together sharpening each other as before.
I found myself floundering and did not know where to turn. I was always the girl that everyone liked but I did not feel attractive and did not feel as if I got approval from home. As I worked I began to attract attention from the opposite sex and not having been use to this, sucked it up like a sponge. Unfortunately for me, Satan knew the weapons to use and the lies to fill my head with, and I soon fell to these lies. I had never been educated on relationships with the opposite sex and had had no experience. No one had ever told me what true love look like or even was. The only thing that had resembled it was an incident with a family member that molested me but, I had never told anyone about it because I did not know I should have told.
I fell for this man that I met at work, thinking he would give me everything I had been looking for; LOVE. I did not find it. He was nice and never mistreated me but there was something missing. I had also not been spending time with God or my scriptures.
I became pregnant. I did not know what to do. I could never tell my parents about this. I did not want to or did I, tell the father of the baby about it. I went to the doctor and he confirmed what I knew. He asked about an abortion and I said yes. I said yes because I did not want to disappoint my parents, and I did not know what else to do.
I went to the hospital and the procedure was done. I woke up in the recovery room of the hospital. The deceptions began and the lies of Satan intensified.
"For I know that in me dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me: but how to perform that which is good I find not. For the good that I would do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do" Romans 7:18-19
She did not arrive at this place accidentally or rapidly. I begin to look back at my own life and knew for certain it was not a quick descent.I grew up in a two parent home, both hard working parents. Went to good a private school, was very involved athletically and had a good rapport with my teachers and fellow classmates. We attended church regularly and I was involved in my churches youth group, very involved. I went to an Anglican church and was also involved with the choir and most of my activities center around the church.
At around 15years old,a group came to our church called the Cursillo movement and spoke about having a relationship with this man called Jesus. I remember surrendering myself to his calling in my life and vowed to follow him wherever he may lead me. There were many of us and so we began having Bible study together and we grew strong together. As time wore on, many of us grew apart and started college and marriage and work and we did not put in as much time together sharpening each other as before.
I found myself floundering and did not know where to turn. I was always the girl that everyone liked but I did not feel attractive and did not feel as if I got approval from home. As I worked I began to attract attention from the opposite sex and not having been use to this, sucked it up like a sponge. Unfortunately for me, Satan knew the weapons to use and the lies to fill my head with, and I soon fell to these lies. I had never been educated on relationships with the opposite sex and had had no experience. No one had ever told me what true love look like or even was. The only thing that had resembled it was an incident with a family member that molested me but, I had never told anyone about it because I did not know I should have told.
I fell for this man that I met at work, thinking he would give me everything I had been looking for; LOVE. I did not find it. He was nice and never mistreated me but there was something missing. I had also not been spending time with God or my scriptures.
I became pregnant. I did not know what to do. I could never tell my parents about this. I did not want to or did I, tell the father of the baby about it. I went to the doctor and he confirmed what I knew. He asked about an abortion and I said yes. I said yes because I did not want to disappoint my parents, and I did not know what else to do.
I went to the hospital and the procedure was done. I woke up in the recovery room of the hospital. The deceptions began and the lies of Satan intensified.
"For I know that in me dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me: but how to perform that which is good I find not. For the good that I would do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do" Romans 7:18-19
Monday, April 26, 2010
Here I Go!
Today, I take a step in a new direction....one that I have no idea where it will lead but one that has been prompted by the Holy Spirit. You see, I am a woman who has had an abortion, not just one but two. I have lived with the guilt and pain of those choices for most of my life now and know and feel that it time to share my story with you. Maybe the things that I share with you will help you in some way. You may be facing a crisis pregnancy and do not know what to do, you may have stumbled across this blog, trying to find out why women make this choice...who knows what your story is, you are not here by mistake. It is definitely a divine appointment.
I will begin with telling you a little about myself. I am a mother of three children that God choose to give me, through my own selfishness, ignorance and my desire to please my flesh and pride, I choose to murder two of my babies. Yes, I said murder because that is what it is and was. I choose to take the life of my babies. Believe me to admit this is just as hard, harder than anything that I have had to admit in my life. I have had to come to the reality that this is what I did.
I have lived with this in silence for many years and it has almost killed me. The shame, the guilt, the fear, the pride. There were many days I did not think I was worthy to live but through God's grace and forgiveness I realized the lies. This blog is a step to accept the truth of God's word, that he has forgiven me and I just need to grab hold of that.
Join me as I take this journey back to the past and present and the future with you. I will use the example of the woman found in the Gospel of Luke as a jumping of point , painting my story and interweaving it with hers. Please forgive me if I may be a little blunt but there is only one way I know and that is Truth. "The truth will st you FREE"
Thank you for taking the time to read this and I pray it be a blessing to you!
"
I will begin with telling you a little about myself. I am a mother of three children that God choose to give me, through my own selfishness, ignorance and my desire to please my flesh and pride, I choose to murder two of my babies. Yes, I said murder because that is what it is and was. I choose to take the life of my babies. Believe me to admit this is just as hard, harder than anything that I have had to admit in my life. I have had to come to the reality that this is what I did.
I have lived with this in silence for many years and it has almost killed me. The shame, the guilt, the fear, the pride. There were many days I did not think I was worthy to live but through God's grace and forgiveness I realized the lies. This blog is a step to accept the truth of God's word, that he has forgiven me and I just need to grab hold of that.
Join me as I take this journey back to the past and present and the future with you. I will use the example of the woman found in the Gospel of Luke as a jumping of point , painting my story and interweaving it with hers. Please forgive me if I may be a little blunt but there is only one way I know and that is Truth. "The truth will st you FREE"
Thank you for taking the time to read this and I pray it be a blessing to you!
"
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