Taking a Walk Through the Past 3.....We need to know where we came from in order to appreciate where we are!

The day I met my husband to be was a normal one, like I said i needed by brakes fixed but, God had other plans. He knew before me that this was the man I would marry. Well, I was not looking for a husband and definitely not a man because of all that had gone on in my life. A relationship was not in the cards for me, I was trying to fix me. Well, I offered him my telephone number if he would assist me, I was in dire need. He took the number and told me that, "I had better be home when he called." Well, I thought to myself, "Who is he talking too?' and white boy at that, laying down orders. Umph, well guess what, I stayed home to see what would happen and HE called. We talked for awhile and decided to see each other another time.
He was the sweetest man I had ever met and never pressured me for anything. This man would call and ask if he could come by and always brought something he knew I liked. We would talk for hours about anything and everything. He really earned my trust and respect and I grew to love him. Unbeknown to me this love would be a pitfall for me, you see I had not finished healing and my relationship with Christ was not what it should have been. I put Jeff in the place God was suppose to be, I looked to him to fulfill all my needs and he could not.
This created problems in our marriage very early on, because I was not content. God blessed us with a beautiful daughter and I sought to pour love on her that I had never known. She flourished and made us both happy. Although for me happiness, contentment was elusive. Our marriage hit a bad spot in the road and we had a time of separation. We thought we were headed to divorce. During this time I made a huge mistake, of course because I was still looking for this love in all the wrong places. For me, this took me spiraling down a slope that nearly killed me. I became so depressed and suicidal that I could not get back on track.
Jeff asked me to come back home, but he did not know what I had done. I had to tell him. He forgave me, I could not forgive myself and did not think I was worthy to live. I tried to take my life. They admitted me to the hospital in a secure ward. While there, my pastor gave me some sermons to listen to and this change and melted something in me. I remember him talking about being tried and tested in the fire and coming out as pure gold. That's how I felt that I had been through the fires but was still alive.
They let me out of the hospital and I recommitted my life to Christ. I spent many weeks on the altar because I felt and knew there was an ocean to pour out to him. He cleanse me and made me whole. I began a life of transformation and got involved with my church helping in nay way possible. I sought to be a good wife and mother and be pleasing to God. He had entered my life and I knew I was a new creation, old things had passed away.
For many years I have served in the churches we have attended a having a heart for the people but there was still a block. Every time I got close to being truly effective, I would run. I remember one pastor saying to me that I was an answer to a ministry at the church, I ran so fast. I was employed at a Christian university and also at a church' youth group, and felt that things were not right. What I did not know was that I was allowing Satan's lies to become a stronghold and to take me off a path that God was calling me to. I allowed fear to dictate my steps.
Now since the Forgiven and Set Post-Abortion Bible study and the Breaking Free Bible Study I am no longer bound I am free. I know that God has been calling to help others who have gone done this part, to help others make the right choice, the choice for life and to teach purity and abstinence to young men and women. I am volunteering at the Blue Ridge Pregnancy Center and helping watch as God's word reach others and change lives. When Jeff and I made a decision to come to Lynchburg Virginia become of the testimony and life of a man, Jerry Falwell Sr.; we thought it was just to study the Bible.
But God had a plan: "Seek ye first the kingdom and God and His righteousness and all other things will be added" That is the verse we made our move on and we are seeing God's hands in every step.