"David, wearing a linen ephod, dance before the LORD with all his might" (2Sam 6:14)

When I see this verse, I experience the unrivaled joy that David must have been feeling at that time. I am not dressed in a linen ephod, but figuratively I am. With my writings I am baring myself before my GOD and you, to demonstrate his glory, grace and abundant blessing to me. I cannot boast of anything because there is nothing I could have done in my life to bring me out of the mire clay that my life was in and the pit that was my life.
I am able to proclaim the joy of the LORD because of his mighty works. David experience the removal of the blessing of GOD because of DISOBEDIENCE and I likewise also experience this. This disobedience brings death and destruction and devastation. All of which I have lived through for many years. In the opposite way OBEDIENCE to God and HIS word and HIS will brings blessing, joy, awe. It brings freedom.
I am not just writing to air dirty laundry, I am PROCLAIMING THAT MY LAUNDRY IS CLEAN BECAUSE OF GOD!!!!AND NO ONE ELSE.
My great-grand mother always and I mean always told us "obedience is better than sacrifice" and I did not understand that as a child, I understand it now and wish that I had learnt the lesson earlier. I have felt more alive than I have ever felt in my life because of the freedom that only God can give. God has enabled me to minister to so many women in the last two weeks than in my whole life before this time. I am in awe at this. The one thing that I have always desired was to help others but was unable before I was holding one vestige of my life to myself and not allowing God to use it.
"Exalt the Lord our God and worship at his holy mountain, for the Lord our God is Holy"!

Taking a Walk Through the Past 3.....We need to know where we came from in order to appreciate where we are!

The day I met my husband to be was a normal one, like I said i needed by brakes fixed but, God had other plans. He knew before me that this was the man I would marry. Well, I was not looking for a husband and definitely not a man because of all that had gone on in my life. A relationship was not in the cards for me, I was trying to fix me. Well, I offered him my telephone number if he would assist me, I was in dire need. He took the number and told me that, "I had better be home when he called." Well, I thought to myself, "Who is he talking too?' and white boy at that, laying down orders. Umph, well guess what, I stayed home to see what would happen and HE called. We talked for awhile and decided to see each other another time.
He was the sweetest man I had ever met and never pressured me for anything. This man would call and ask if he could come by and always brought something he knew I liked. We would talk for hours about anything and everything. He really earned my trust and respect and I grew to love him. Unbeknown to me this love would be a pitfall for me, you see I had not finished healing and my relationship with Christ was not what it should have been. I put Jeff in the place God was suppose to be, I looked to him to fulfill all my needs and he could not.
This created problems in our marriage very early on, because I was not content. God blessed us with a beautiful daughter and I sought to pour love on her that I had never known. She flourished and made us both happy. Although for me happiness, contentment was elusive. Our marriage hit a bad spot in the road and we had a time of separation. We thought we were headed to divorce. During this time I made a huge mistake, of course because I was still looking for this love in all the wrong places. For me, this took me spiraling down a slope that nearly killed me. I became so depressed and suicidal that I could not get back on track.
Jeff asked me to come back home, but he did not know what I had done. I had to tell him. He forgave me, I could not forgive myself and did not think I was worthy to live. I tried to take my life. They admitted me to the hospital in a secure ward. While there, my pastor gave me some sermons to listen to and this change and melted something in me. I remember him talking about being tried and tested in the fire and coming out as pure gold. That's how I felt that I had been through the fires but was still alive.
They let me out of the hospital and I recommitted my life to Christ. I spent many weeks on the altar because I felt and knew there was an ocean to pour out to him. He cleanse me and made me whole. I began a life of transformation and got involved with my church helping in nay way possible. I sought to be a good wife and mother and be pleasing to God. He had entered my life and I knew I was a new creation, old things had passed away.
For many years I have served in the churches we have attended a having a heart for the people but there was still a block. Every time I got close to being truly effective, I would run. I remember one pastor saying to me that I was an answer to a ministry at the church, I ran so fast. I was employed at a Christian university and also at a church' youth group, and felt that things were not right. What I did not know was that I was allowing Satan's lies to become a stronghold and to take me off a path that God was calling me to. I allowed fear to dictate my steps.
Now since the Forgiven and Set Post-Abortion Bible study and the Breaking Free Bible Study I am no longer bound I am free. I know that God has been calling to help others who have gone done this part, to help others make the right choice, the choice for life and to teach purity and abstinence to young men and women. I am volunteering at the Blue Ridge Pregnancy Center and helping watch as God's word reach others and change lives. When Jeff and I made a decision to come to Lynchburg Virginia become of the testimony and life of a man, Jerry Falwell Sr.; we thought it was just to study the Bible.
But God had a plan: "Seek ye first the kingdom and God and His righteousness and all other things will be added" That is the verse we made our move on and we are seeing God's hands in every step.

A Day of mixed Feelings---

Yesterday we celebrated Mother's Day! What a Blessing it is to celebrate this day with the ones you love. For me it was a day, filled with calls to my mother-in-law, sisters, and other family members to wish them a special day. Likewise I received many calls from my family and friends. We went to church as we normally do on any given Sunday. The service was phenomenal and one part of the worship stood out to me, when we sung the song, When I Don’t Know What To Do. This song is one of those songs that express what we all feel sometimes, but it could have been where you found yourself yesterday. Thinking about those that are with you and those that are with Christ in Heaven. When we do not know what to do, we could literally apply the words of this song as a balm to our minds and hearts because Christ knows what to do and he is waiting for us to call on Him. The words of this song are below and I believe poignant to any situations in our lives. Enjoy!

Here are the lyrics, and here is a link to iTunes to download it. For 99 cents, about the cost of a Snickers bar, you can receive a much sweeter blessing. This song wants to be played loud, by the way.

Lord I surrender all to
Your strong and faithful hand
In everything I will give thanks to You
I’ll just trust Your perfect plan

Chorus:
When I don’t know what to do
I’ll lift my hands
When I don’t know what to say
I’ll speak Your praise
When I don’t know where to go
I’ll run to Your throne
When I don’t know what to think
I’ll stand on Your truth
When I don’t know what to do

Lord I surrender all
Though I’ll never understand
All the mysteries around me
I’ll just trust your perfect plan

Bridge:
As I bow my knee
Send Your perfect peace
Send Your perfect peace, Lord
As I lift my hands
Let Your healing come
Let Your healing come to me

This song talks of worship in a new way, that expresses that we are nothing apart from Christ. That He is an intricate part of who we are and that he has all of the answers.

Blessings to all!