A Look at the Present

Today as I sit in front of my computer, I am amazed at God's grace and blessing. We just finished the Post Abortion Bible study and it has been miraculous in my life. I know the other ladies have experienced the same thing as I have. Wednesday night we had the opportunity to film an edition of the TV show "Sound the Alarm" a few us got together and told others about our stories and how God has helped us in out journey to freedom. Our prayer is that we can reach others in their walks and struggles to see that god's grace is available to them too.
In my own home, we have been having struggles and one of the things that has resonated with me, has been forgiveness. To forgive others as Jesus has forgiven me. Please join us on Monday the 3rd and the 10th, Comcast 7 at 8.30pm and watch the program and invite others to view it also. We pray it be a blessing to all that view it.

Thank you and God Bless!

Taking a Walk Through the Past.....We need to know where we came from in order to appreciate where we are!

Jesus says to the woman as he did to me, "Thy sins are forgiven." First of all we all need to be forgiven are sins, but their were others in the room who knew this woman and they said her sins were many.
She did not arrive at this place accidentally or rapidly. I begin to look back at my own life and knew for certain it was not a quick descent.I grew up in a two parent home, both hard working parents. Went to good a private school, was very involved athletically and had a good rapport with my teachers and fellow classmates. We attended church regularly and I was involved in my churches youth group, very involved. I went to an Anglican church and was also involved with the choir and most of my activities center around the church.
At around 15years old,a group came to our church called the Cursillo movement and spoke about having a relationship with this man called Jesus. I remember surrendering myself to his calling in my life and vowed to follow him wherever he may lead me. There were many of us and so we began having Bible study together and we grew strong together. As time wore on, many of us grew apart and started college and marriage and work and we did not put in as much time together sharpening each other as before.
I found myself floundering and did not know where to turn. I was always the girl that everyone liked but I did not feel attractive and did not feel as if I got approval from home. As I worked I began to attract attention from the opposite sex and not having been use to this, sucked it up like a sponge. Unfortunately for me, Satan knew the weapons to use and the lies to fill my head with, and I soon fell to these lies. I had never been educated on relationships with the opposite sex and had had no experience. No one had ever told me what true love look like or even was. The only thing that had resembled it was an incident with a family member that molested me but, I had never told anyone about it because I did not know I should have told.
I fell for this man that I met at work, thinking he would give me everything I had been looking for; LOVE. I did not find it. He was nice and never mistreated me but there was something missing. I had also not been spending time with God or my scriptures.
I became pregnant. I did not know what to do. I could never tell my parents about this. I did not want to or did I, tell the father of the baby about it. I went to the doctor and he confirmed what I knew. He asked about an abortion and I said yes. I said yes because I did not want to disappoint my parents, and I did not know what else to do.
I went to the hospital and the procedure was done. I woke up in the recovery room of the hospital. The deceptions began and the lies of Satan intensified.

"For I know that in me dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me: but how to perform that which is good I find not. For the good that I would do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do" Romans 7:18-19

Here I Go!

Today, I take a step in a new direction....one that I have no idea where it will lead but one that has been prompted by the Holy Spirit. You see, I am a woman who has had an abortion, not just one but two. I have lived with the guilt and pain of those choices for most of my life now and know and feel that it time to share my story with you. Maybe the things that I share with you will help you in some way. You may be facing a crisis pregnancy and do not know what to do, you may have stumbled across this blog, trying to find out why women make this choice...who knows what your story is, you are not here by mistake. It is definitely a divine appointment.

I will begin with telling you a little about myself. I am a mother of three children that God choose to give me, through my own selfishness, ignorance and my desire to please my flesh and pride, I choose to murder two of my babies. Yes, I said murder because that is what it is and was. I choose to take the life of my babies. Believe me to admit this is just as hard, harder than anything that I have had to admit in my life. I have had to come to the reality that this is what I did.

I have lived with this in silence for many years and it has almost killed me. The shame, the guilt, the fear, the pride. There were many days I did not think I was worthy to live but through God's grace and forgiveness I realized the lies. This blog is a step to accept the truth of God's word, that he has forgiven me and I just need to grab hold of that.

Join me as I take this journey back to the past and present and the future with you. I will use the example of the woman found in the Gospel of Luke as a jumping of point , painting my story and interweaving it with hers. Please forgive me if I may be a little blunt but there is only one way I know and that is Truth. "The truth will st you FREE"

Thank you for taking the time to read this and I pray it be a blessing to you!
"