Introspection! Stinking Thinking

Ok!, here we go!
Boy, last night it hit me....you know when you work hard to try and do things right and then you take a look and see that you have been doing some things wrong, boy what a whammy!.

I am a big believer in introspection because I love people and love relationships.  And so I try and to examine myself regularly, daily, I pray to my Father asking him to cleanse me and search me, to purge me and of course He does. By His manifold graces He reveals to us our true selves and we come up short.

I have always had a fight with my self esteem; always fought fear and it has not stopped. The thread of those feelings always seem to creep into my life when I don't want them to.  The Apostle Paul speaks of, "For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want."
That's how it is with my thinking.....and so I realise that the things or people I cherish most are pushed away because of my fear and low self esteem.

So I had been praying for others and and a myriad  of things and last night I had a conversation with someone. My husband, Jeff and I, had been talking about this situation with this person and analyzing it and kept missing it. We could not understand that we love this person so much and was doing everything in our power to help them and to try and put them first and it seemed as if they were out to take us down.

Did you get it the problem? "OUR"... it was our power, OUR thoughts....sometimes in OUR doing; we miss the mark...actually can I say always in OUR doing we miss the mark.

So finally as we are wont to do, when we fail; we then decide to bring God in on it. I take it to prayer and God in His infinite grace and faithfulness allows me to see that it was me and my "STINKING THINKING" that was putting a barrier in the way.  I prayed about everything that I was concerned about with this person and then God allowed me the opportunity to speak with them and they during the course of that conversation shared that they loved us, saw what we were doing, thought the best of us, but because of the issues they were dealing with personally it came across a certain way.

WOW!

I was so thankful for God for revealing this and seeing that I have to think less of myself and more like him and try to see others more with His eyes than my own. This is hard because I want to protect myself from being hurt also. Boy, so my prayer is that in my doing, that I bring it all to Jesus Christ, who knows all things and sees all things..

Pray for me as I strive to be more like Christ and less like Rhonda. Pray that I don't allow my insecurities and fear control my actions.


"Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.
Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus" Philippians 2: 4-5