"David, wearing a linen ephod, dance before the LORD with all his might" (2Sam 6:14)

When I see this verse, I experience the unrivaled joy that David must have been feeling at that time. I am not dressed in a linen ephod, but figuratively I am. With my writings I am baring myself before my GOD and you, to demonstrate his glory, grace and abundant blessing to me. I cannot boast of anything because there is nothing I could have done in my life to bring me out of the mire clay that my life was in and the pit that was my life.
I am able to proclaim the joy of the LORD because of his mighty works. David experience the removal of the blessing of GOD because of DISOBEDIENCE and I likewise also experience this. This disobedience brings death and destruction and devastation. All of which I have lived through for many years. In the opposite way OBEDIENCE to God and HIS word and HIS will brings blessing, joy, awe. It brings freedom.
I am not just writing to air dirty laundry, I am PROCLAIMING THAT MY LAUNDRY IS CLEAN BECAUSE OF GOD!!!!AND NO ONE ELSE.
My great-grand mother always and I mean always told us "obedience is better than sacrifice" and I did not understand that as a child, I understand it now and wish that I had learnt the lesson earlier. I have felt more alive than I have ever felt in my life because of the freedom that only God can give. God has enabled me to minister to so many women in the last two weeks than in my whole life before this time. I am in awe at this. The one thing that I have always desired was to help others but was unable before I was holding one vestige of my life to myself and not allowing God to use it.
"Exalt the Lord our God and worship at his holy mountain, for the Lord our God is Holy"!

Taking a Walk Through the Past 3.....We need to know where we came from in order to appreciate where we are!

The day I met my husband to be was a normal one, like I said i needed by brakes fixed but, God had other plans. He knew before me that this was the man I would marry. Well, I was not looking for a husband and definitely not a man because of all that had gone on in my life. A relationship was not in the cards for me, I was trying to fix me. Well, I offered him my telephone number if he would assist me, I was in dire need. He took the number and told me that, "I had better be home when he called." Well, I thought to myself, "Who is he talking too?' and white boy at that, laying down orders. Umph, well guess what, I stayed home to see what would happen and HE called. We talked for awhile and decided to see each other another time.
He was the sweetest man I had ever met and never pressured me for anything. This man would call and ask if he could come by and always brought something he knew I liked. We would talk for hours about anything and everything. He really earned my trust and respect and I grew to love him. Unbeknown to me this love would be a pitfall for me, you see I had not finished healing and my relationship with Christ was not what it should have been. I put Jeff in the place God was suppose to be, I looked to him to fulfill all my needs and he could not.
This created problems in our marriage very early on, because I was not content. God blessed us with a beautiful daughter and I sought to pour love on her that I had never known. She flourished and made us both happy. Although for me happiness, contentment was elusive. Our marriage hit a bad spot in the road and we had a time of separation. We thought we were headed to divorce. During this time I made a huge mistake, of course because I was still looking for this love in all the wrong places. For me, this took me spiraling down a slope that nearly killed me. I became so depressed and suicidal that I could not get back on track.
Jeff asked me to come back home, but he did not know what I had done. I had to tell him. He forgave me, I could not forgive myself and did not think I was worthy to live. I tried to take my life. They admitted me to the hospital in a secure ward. While there, my pastor gave me some sermons to listen to and this change and melted something in me. I remember him talking about being tried and tested in the fire and coming out as pure gold. That's how I felt that I had been through the fires but was still alive.
They let me out of the hospital and I recommitted my life to Christ. I spent many weeks on the altar because I felt and knew there was an ocean to pour out to him. He cleanse me and made me whole. I began a life of transformation and got involved with my church helping in nay way possible. I sought to be a good wife and mother and be pleasing to God. He had entered my life and I knew I was a new creation, old things had passed away.
For many years I have served in the churches we have attended a having a heart for the people but there was still a block. Every time I got close to being truly effective, I would run. I remember one pastor saying to me that I was an answer to a ministry at the church, I ran so fast. I was employed at a Christian university and also at a church' youth group, and felt that things were not right. What I did not know was that I was allowing Satan's lies to become a stronghold and to take me off a path that God was calling me to. I allowed fear to dictate my steps.
Now since the Forgiven and Set Post-Abortion Bible study and the Breaking Free Bible Study I am no longer bound I am free. I know that God has been calling to help others who have gone done this part, to help others make the right choice, the choice for life and to teach purity and abstinence to young men and women. I am volunteering at the Blue Ridge Pregnancy Center and helping watch as God's word reach others and change lives. When Jeff and I made a decision to come to Lynchburg Virginia become of the testimony and life of a man, Jerry Falwell Sr.; we thought it was just to study the Bible.
But God had a plan: "Seek ye first the kingdom and God and His righteousness and all other things will be added" That is the verse we made our move on and we are seeing God's hands in every step.

A Day of mixed Feelings---

Yesterday we celebrated Mother's Day! What a Blessing it is to celebrate this day with the ones you love. For me it was a day, filled with calls to my mother-in-law, sisters, and other family members to wish them a special day. Likewise I received many calls from my family and friends. We went to church as we normally do on any given Sunday. The service was phenomenal and one part of the worship stood out to me, when we sung the song, When I Don’t Know What To Do. This song is one of those songs that express what we all feel sometimes, but it could have been where you found yourself yesterday. Thinking about those that are with you and those that are with Christ in Heaven. When we do not know what to do, we could literally apply the words of this song as a balm to our minds and hearts because Christ knows what to do and he is waiting for us to call on Him. The words of this song are below and I believe poignant to any situations in our lives. Enjoy!

Here are the lyrics, and here is a link to iTunes to download it. For 99 cents, about the cost of a Snickers bar, you can receive a much sweeter blessing. This song wants to be played loud, by the way.

Lord I surrender all to
Your strong and faithful hand
In everything I will give thanks to You
I’ll just trust Your perfect plan

Chorus:
When I don’t know what to do
I’ll lift my hands
When I don’t know what to say
I’ll speak Your praise
When I don’t know where to go
I’ll run to Your throne
When I don’t know what to think
I’ll stand on Your truth
When I don’t know what to do

Lord I surrender all
Though I’ll never understand
All the mysteries around me
I’ll just trust your perfect plan

Bridge:
As I bow my knee
Send Your perfect peace
Send Your perfect peace, Lord
As I lift my hands
Let Your healing come
Let Your healing come to me

This song talks of worship in a new way, that expresses that we are nothing apart from Christ. That He is an intricate part of who we are and that he has all of the answers.

Blessings to all!

How can I say thanks for the things you have done for me!

Today, I just wanted to take a breath and give thanks to my almighty Father. Words cannot express the gratefulness I have and feel in him. In His word he has given us many promises and many of them I am beginning to take hold of again. This blog was started from a journey beginning with my 14 year old daughter pushing me to reach out to others and to help them. She felt that my testimony and life would be one that would encourage and help others; giving them hope. I was hesitant because I was afraid of what others would think and the scripture came to mind, "who am I trying to please, men or God." I took a leap and began training to help others at the Blue Ridge Pregnancy Center, helping others through and during their crisis situations.
This has been a blessing to me. During this time I have been taking the Beth Moore study, Breaking Free and a Post Abortion study; Forgiven and Set Free. Needless to say god has shown up and I have been given a freedom that I never expected. I am experiencing a joy that I did not know was possible. The words of Ephesians 4:20 resonate with me every day now, and God is doing a good thing.
In Matthew 25, Jesus tells a parable of the talent and of his servants. He chastises the one who has not done anything with the talent he gave. I have been that servant who has been disobedient. Not anymore. What God has done for me is priceless and I do not have enough years to serve Him and for Him to receive the glory!
My fellow believers, "He who has begun a good work in us will complete it!
Be encourage!

Abortion by Lisa Brock

For some women, discovering they are expecting a child is one of the happiest moments of their lives. For others — especially those who aren't married and aren't ready to become parents — it seems like the beginning of a nightmare. If you are pregnant with a child you didn't plan to have, how do you make decisions about what is best for you and your unborn baby?

Research. Pregnancy directly affects your life and the life of your newly conceived child. Though you can easily see and feel the changes in your body, your child's development is more of a mystery. Even as he grows inside your body, your baby is a tiny person with feelings, behaviors and a personality. He can hear, taste, smell, hiccup and even suck his thumb. Find out from a doctor what he 's really like before you make decisions about his life.

Get some wise advice. Often caring parents and friends are good resources. Sometimes it's easier to talk with your pastor or someone at a pregnancy resource center. Whomever you decide to speak with, make sure it's someone who will help you consider all the moral and emotional aspects of the road you will choose. The hormones and extreme emotions of pregnancy make reasonable decisions more difficult. Don 't make your choice without the advice of someone you can trust to lead you down the best possible path.

Consider your own life. Spending nine months pregnant with a child you don't think you are prepared to parent can be difficult, but taking your unborn child 's life is a decision you can never reverse. Should you choose to terminate your pregnancy, you will likely suffer from guilt, remorse and grief, possibly for many years to come. In addition, abortion can cause medical complications that may make it impossible for you to become pregnant when you think you are ready to be a parent. You may be making a decision affecting not only this child, but also your future children.

Consider the life of your child. Expected or unexpected, every child deserves to be loved. Just like you, your unborn baby deserves a chance at a happy life. As you make a decision about what to do next, listen to your heart, like your baby does; he hears it beating all the time

Taking a Walk Through the Past 2.....We need to know where we came from in order to appreciate where we are!

Waking up in that hospital, I began the lies that this had not happened. My family members that picked me believed that I had another operation done. I went to their home and pretended that nothing happened. A few eeks later my cousin gave birth to a baby boy and I fell in love with him. not only did I fall in love but I also fell in despair, the reality of what I had done took me spirally into a pit of despair that I found almost impossible to get out.
For months I tried to pretend that all was well but the force of my actions pummeled me daily. I got to the point that I would not speak and this lasted for months. When I did begin to speak it was as if I was a machine, some type of robot that was just moving through this world with no where to go. There was a constant haze. This is when I went to my parents ans ask if I could come back home. My father said no; He had not asked me to leave before so I needed to accept my choices. That night I called my priest and at the same time took pills from the cupboard and tried to kill myself, for what would be the first of many attempts. I was found by his nephew and was taken to the hospital. Again after this I fell into a depression that was immense and I could not shake. I was in counselling for along time but it only helped so much. Even as I try to tell you about this time it is not all clear.
I do remember leaving my job. I also left that town for a small amount of time. Upon returning I got another job at the Telecommunications company. I seemed to be doing well and had an apartment that I shared with roommates. Unfortunately, someone who knew me told WB, the father of my aborted baby that I was back in town. He tracked me down and took advantage of me. I was pregnant again; and found myself right back at the beginning of my nightmare. I walked into the hospital, not thinking, not feeling and maybe not even breathing. If I thought about it too much or too long, who knows what would have happened. We know what happened. I committed another murder. I pushed this one and everything else so far down and in the back of my mind. I tried to live as if nothing had ever happened.
Of course this was not possible as, truth will always surface. I lived my life but it was not one of joy. I was just going through the motions. I would bury myself in work and then come home, read books and sleep or would go out with my cousin and party. I did not want anything to do with the opposite sex. I began to read my bible a little but very little. A few years later, I met my husband to be, while trying to purchase some brakes for my car.

A Look at the Present

Today as I sit in front of my computer, I am amazed at God's grace and blessing. We just finished the Post Abortion Bible study and it has been miraculous in my life. I know the other ladies have experienced the same thing as I have. Wednesday night we had the opportunity to film an edition of the TV show "Sound the Alarm" a few us got together and told others about our stories and how God has helped us in out journey to freedom. Our prayer is that we can reach others in their walks and struggles to see that god's grace is available to them too.
In my own home, we have been having struggles and one of the things that has resonated with me, has been forgiveness. To forgive others as Jesus has forgiven me. Please join us on Monday the 3rd and the 10th, Comcast 7 at 8.30pm and watch the program and invite others to view it also. We pray it be a blessing to all that view it.

Thank you and God Bless!